Ladies have you ever had a guy who has had the weirdest reaction when it comes to Sex?On today’s “Making love to a Retard” topic: Beating your meat.

Beat your meat somewhere else…..

Once upon a time when I was in that “Gimmie What I need” mind frame, there was a guy that was feeling me. Now we never really went no where, because he was the type of guy where his women must look like a housewife Barbie 24/7 nails done, hair shaved in the right places, and hair done without weave. Now being the laid back chick that I am sometime, NO LIE my ass get in that I don’t give a damn moment. Which he seemed to never quiet understand. It was not often, but shit we woman have our lazy moments as well. It must be shaved, she must know how to cook, her hair and nails need to be done, she must be independent etc. etc. The funny thing about it is he talked all that shit, but never seem to want to do shit. He claims he would, but I was not interested to find out.

So after one retarded sex moment, I decided to start ignoring him. However one night at the club, I was feeling hella nice and looking HELLA sexy. This lame as nerd was there and for some reason he looked nice (*damn alcohol*). He was pressing me to come over as every nigga that night did; but since I was not into sleeping around with too many dudes, plus at that moment me and my sex partner was not speaking, I told him to come on over. Funny to say when I got home took a shower, my little red friend decided to come. At that moment I was pissed, because I was horny as hell. Just as I was going to tell him don’t bother, he ends up knocking on my door. Too tired to care, I said stay over.

NOW do you know I was good and comfy in my bed, when I started to feel some motion? When I turn to look this mutha was beating the hell out of his dick. “HELL THE FUCK NO"…Dude its time to fucking go!” "What happened what I do", says the retard! Are you kidding me, nigga get out!!!!! With a stun look of confusion on his face he gathered his things, stood at the door as I slammed it in his face. Sorry but at the time I was not the one to deal with a no sense guy. He was not my man and I didn’t really care for him that much, because of his list of demands. For a while this guy would see me and just stare at me like I did him dirty. Um no he did himself dirty, by trying to catch a nut with out me. On top of that in my bed a place that I thought he would never see again. Really I think he was shocked that I kicked him out, since he thought I was so kind and innocent. One thing he didn’t now was that there are women who act like men, when they ready. SURPRISE, don’t sleep on it!!

My tip to the RETARDS and the CONFUSED:
Before going thru that entire trouble find out if she still down, if she gives you the “Well we will see when you get here,” tell her alright well link me. If she don’t call back hint hint nigga!

Never go to a female’s house that you are just sleeping with and beat your dick. That shit is real nasty and disrespectful. If you are not going to get none, she would understand if you get the stepping. Those are the damn rules. DO NOT I REPEAT DO not do it!

Beat your meat in the privacy of yourself – Even if you were with a chick of full understanding and you guys for some reason can not have sex, go to the bath room or wait till she is in a deep sleep.

Ask for some head politely - she may not be able to have sex, but her mouth may be available so kindly ask for assistance. If it’s been a few months or she just love sucking dick she would not mind. So if you know this it won’t be a problem. If not you know the get the stepping queue.

I can continue but after those four similar steps, I am sure you get my drift. So fellas be caution on what you do with a female that is NOT loyal to you!!

Do you have a retard moment? Share with me and send story or topic to
mypassionx@gmail.com.

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After a good night of great sex, blisters are something no women can avoid. How to avoid a beat up pussy? The experience of a blister sore pussy is never on a females agenda after getting the shit fucked out of her! Most women love to feel that dick all up in her belly & playing with those organs, but maaaaan the after effect is nothing to play with. Now most women have experience a man who does nothing, but beat that pussy up! So let me give you a few tips to avoid and/or to take care of an injured pussy cat!

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Way over in New Zealand a women recently took herself to the ER after experiencing loss of feeling in her arm while watching TV one evening. Doctors at the hospital concluded that she had suffered a mild stroke caused by a hickey that had been given near an artery on her neck a few days earlier. Her boyfriend’s overzealous suction caused bruising inside her blood vessel, which in turn caused a clot in the artery underneath. The clot then dislodged and traveled to the woman’s heart where it caused a “mild stroke” and subsequent arm paralysis.

I can remember when Hickeys where a mark for a man who wanted to claim his prize. After growing up I realized that it looked nasty and that shit really did hurt. I never did get why guys thought it was cool for them to give, but never receive. Once again back then that was a way to say, "Yeah I got that!" So seeing this story I was amazed because I never new people still gave hickeys.

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Who ever thought some freaky ass person would come out with a scent of Vagina. Well guess what some exotic freak out in the UK did it and named it "Vulva".

The makers of Vulva are adamant about the fact that their product is not a perfume, but rather “a feminine, erotic, intimate scent for your own smelling pleasure.” YES it is a fragrance that smells like vagina, and you rub it on yourself. Some might call it “perfume,” some might call it “portable pussy musk,” and others (Like you and I in the US), might call it “really fucking nasty and wierd.”

As you watch this man in this Vulva commercial, it kinda looks sick to see this man act like her never smelled a vagina before. This really looks like some stalker type shit, which would make me scared of a person who is really obsessed over the scent of a vagina.

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Look Younger is all reasons why having sex should be apart of your diet. After reading AOL Health these little tips can not only make you healthy, but make your love life more exciting.

Slim Down - sex burns about five calories per minute, depending upon your weight. Even engaging your partner in a hot kiss boosts your heart rate, which in turn increases your body's caloric burn. Next time you're too busy to work out, try getting busy instead.

Fight The Sniffles - In a study at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, researchers found that college students who had sex once or twice per week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A, an antibody that boosts the immune system.

Stress Less - Sex could be just the thing to keep you calm. In a study by researchers at the University of Paisley in Scotland, 46 men women were asked to give speeches to an audience who, unbeknownst to the speakers, was told to act bored and disinterested. Afterwards, the participants' blood pressure was taken-those who reported having sex within the last two weeks had the lowest readings.

Have A Healthy Heart - A recent study published in the Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that erectile dysfunction (ED) is often an early indicator of poor cardiovascular health. Researchers followed more than 2,300 men for an average of four years and found that men with ED had a 58 percent greater risk of coronary heart disease.

Another study showed that men who reported having three or more orgasms per week experienced 50 percent fewer heart attacks and strokes as compared with those who had less frequent orgasms. Sex may help the heart because orgasm triggers the release of the hormone DHEA, which helps with circulation and arterial dilation.

Live Longer? For reasons that are still unclear, regular sex may even add years to your life. A study published in the British Medical Journal found that men who had sex less than once per month were twice as likely to die in the next 10 years than those who had sex once per week.

And guys aren't the only ones to benefit: Researchers at Duke University found that women who claimed to enjoy their sex lives lived seven to eight years longer than women who were indifferent to sex.

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Who said that Dildo's could not be made to fit, well on madetopleasure.com they are here to make a dildo just for you.

Made To Pleasure’s raison d’etre is simple – to bring the ultimate pleasure to women through toys that are beautiful to look at, and a pleasure to use. Read more

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Mini Max Waterproof Vibrating Make-up Brush. Give powder-breaks a whole new meaning with this stylish vibrating make-up brush! The Mini-Max doubles as a discreet massager and hides easily in your purse or make-up bag. Choose a speed that's right for you and let the quiet vibrations and soft bristles seduce you. Great for your afternoon commute, bathroom breaks, or solo play at home or in the office. Try it in the shower and everyone will be wondering why you take so long to get ready!

I personally have not tried this one as yet, so I can not really say if it works and ow it works. But I will promise to have it in my next batch of tasteful goodies.

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Great song for "Seduction" plan and simple!

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