Wednesday, June 25, 2014 in , , , , ,

A Letter To My Father......A Must see site from Via @missjia

http://alettertomyfather.net/
Came across this site called A Letter To My Father from the one and only MissJia.    Like me so many women struggle with relationships seeking something in a man that they never got from their father or seen from their own father.  In my case I struggle with doing all I can so that man can stay even if he was no good or just cut them off with no reason or explanation because of a broken promise.  I had no idea that this was happening until I went through this soul searching episode.  I won't totally blame myself for my marriage, because trust I did try; However if I was not so desperate for a man's love and attention or just wanting to have a family of my own.  I would have NEVER stayed in something I knew was not real.  After digging and blaming and digging some more, I come to see that I followed a trend of chasing my father with not only my husband, but with men I "Loved" period. 

My dad was a man dedicated to his music and though he loved me, his love was not the kind of love you expect from a father.  When he was there, he was there and did EVERYTHING for me.  I was his baby girl.  I got the gifts, toys and more toys when he was missing.  At that time it was “to me” good, because as a little girl who didn't want all the barbies, dolls and doll houses?  As I got older I started to ask why and when till I started to sound like a broken record.  Why can't I come this weekend or why can't you see me this weekend.  It was too the point I didn't care for the gifts, I just wanted to see my "Daddy!"  I called, chased and basically drained my mother just to see my daddy.  All his promises where either broken or came true by my brother who I lost in 1996.  When boys got involved that urge little by little left from my dad, to the ones I dated.  To make it worse I had this weight on my chest from loss of the other man I felt loved me more than my father himself, so scared was an under estimate. Could I express this then to my mom?  No because she was busy taking care of 3 kids.  So as a teen I had to figure out  a lot about boys via friends and my own personal experiences.  


I can go on and on, but since I FINALLY found peace by expressing this to both my mom and dad.  I found peace with my past as a child and my past 3 heart breaks.   Not to mention the men I treated like shit because I was so angry, but used the "Ms. Independent" theory as a cover up.   To me  any women who have issues and holding on to some demons should find a way to talk about it.  Luckily I become an overly outspoken person, however not all women have that courage or urge to tell anyone or their parents, especially their father.  I still struggle I won't lie, but I sure do pray and try daily.  So to me A Letter to My Father is a great start.  This is not only for bad experiences but good.  Though I had issues with my dad we are very close, once again I was his baby girl till this day.  He being a father was my issue, because he ALWAYS treated me like I was a friend.  I never got it till I became a woman I was lucky to rebuild our friendship and got to see and understand why he was who "HE" was.  I say was, because he did change and he changed A LOT!!!  Feels weird but I am happy to see that people can change for the good. A lot of women do have great relationships with their dads; however a lot struggle from some issue caused by their dad.

This post isn’t about Love or Sex, but because a lot of women who seek fatherly love or resent men because of a missing father....I felt like sharing this site with you.

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