Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Divorce is not good, but Happiness is Better.....My long short story to you

To start off my blog I will share the pain that has caused me to stop what I love to build up my new home.  It used to be shameful to do this, but I share this for those women who will not leave a mental abuser because of the fear of being alone or feel they can't do any better!! With faith and god better comes when you believe. 
For 4 years out of 7 of being married I have suffered and struggle for this man I said vows too to love me. Getting together for all the wrong reasons I tried my best to still make it work.  I did my best to let him see all I wanted was a family. He has gained so much from me and all I got was drained.  He mentally drained me with his abusive tongue to keep me down and locked in his mind games.  Never once did he hear my cry.  Instead he put me down more to make it feel like what happened was all because of me.  Never would I imagine I would lose myself so bad it drew so many away, because of the pain I gained from him.  I didn’t trust ANYONE!!! To list a few things my family was not welcomed to stay at our house and if they did come over it was an issue, he tried to get my best friend drunk so his friend could sleep with her and he touched another one of my best friends while she was intoxicated. Not only did I stay I lost two people who I loved. Good thing they know the meaning of friendship, because after that we became friends again!!! 

We have been through sooooo much, but only happiness was what people seen! They thought we were a team and had a strong unit.  Never would anyone imagine the pain I was really feeling.  I mean with him getting his citizenship, which now he is able to work, learning a real skill that I went to school for and I have to pay back, tried my hardest to bring the best out of him and brought our beautiful  child in this world. After all the mental abuse and the emotional imbalance you would think this man would let me go in peace. You would think he would be happy that I am finally happy! Wishful thinking right!!??! This man treats me 10 times worse and as if I did him wrong!  He calls me irrelevant, he hopes I upgrade to better if I could do any better, tells me my son does not like me and not happy, claims he's happy I left, I'm lucky to have his son and last calls me evil. Anyone who knows me knows that I can be an emotional roller coaster I'm a Gemini! However evil I can never be. I wanted to be happy, so I left and because I left with nothing but our child, a car and my head high he's mad, angry and bitter. Like in our marriage he continues to feel he has to prove he is better than me and has to make money so he can show me I will regret leaving. Sad part of it all I met him with nothing working in a patty shop and living at home. I ask this question till this day what more would I want??? All I ever wanted from this man was a family and love. Something we can build together! Since he was not a man he was busy trying to find himself and breaking me down at the same time. 

I use to be mad and I refuse to let go, because I felt like I built this man up why leave and let someone else reap the benefits.  Then after counseling and some real soul searching, I finally let it go. I left it up to god and found happiness ALONE! No arguing, being insecure, feeling like “who I am” was a bad thing and feeling like I was no good.  It took years to be broken down but a shorter time after I left him to find happiness. I can go on and on about this and that, but my point is I found happiness. Being a woman who needs that attention and loves having a companion I am happy to know I can do without and still be happy.  

People wondered if there was any good and I say yes!!! However when the bad over shadow the good than there is nothing to hang onto! The best thing was my son! That was the best 9 months of my marriage. My son brought me the sense I needed to stop babying a man.  I did give him a bit of credit, because within 3 months he did more for me then he has in 5 years.  Then turned around and told me he only did it to see if he could do it, then all credits where lost. Silly me!!  I don't hate him and I wish him the best. I NOW know what I deserve and wanted to start over fresh, just not with him. Yes he still treats me like shit, which gives me more joy to know I did the right thing!! TRUST me looking at my son made me think, what did I do? Well I found me and I'm stress free. Not to mention my son is livelier, cries a lot less and is less anti-social.  With me leaving it benefited more than my happiness, it made my son personality do a 360! I no longer need to cry or care when he tries to break me down! All I do is laugh at his old bitter ass! He thought I was weak, I proved him and many others; even myself wrong.  

Fear makes us stay, once you give that fear up to god, he will help you along the new journey you will walk! He will not let you fall once you have that faith. A lot I yes  A LOT of new challenges will come along to make you think twice, however you always got to remember god will not put you through anything he know you could not handle. Easier said than done I still to this day battle with not losing faith, yeah I'm human. But I think of the goodness and find ways to keep that faith! My faith, my family and true friends gave me that strength and for that I am forever grateful!

I made it out....I did it!

My long short story to you
Mysteria

Friday, June 13, 2014

To you married women (ring or no ring) find yourself, be yourself, love yourself.

"To you married women (ring or no ring) find yourself, be yourself, love yourself. Just take it one day at a time!"

Enjoy my journey as I learn, share and give my all not only to my marriage but to myself. Finding me sexually was something I feared! Yes I may have given some guys the best fuck they ever had, but exploring me is something I never really focused on. Back when I was single I was so focus on pleasing he, that I totally forgot all about me. So walking into my marriage with the same mind frame was a challenge I did not know was going to be so difficult!  Why was it difficult, because I didn’t know me?  I knew how it felt to make love, fuck, have a quickie and all of the above; but knowing the passionista that lurks inside me I did not know her.   

 After having my son my mind sexually changed 100%, however showing it is my challenge. Being a woman that is OCD with perfection, I over look things that matter now! The fear of losing only made me lose myself.  The fear of being broke and not able to feed my family makes I not want to live and splurge on myself without regret.  I fear rejection so being open gets put off continuously.  All these things lurking in your mind only does one thing, make sex a non-mutha fucking factor, which is something most married women face. 

 A wise woman once said, “You live life one day at a time, because tomorrow is not promised!” ~Gloria Graham

 I won’t kill your eyes to much, but at this time I will end my open session by saying this, “To you married women (ring or no ring) find yourself, be yourself, love yourself. Just take it one day at a time!”

Does Size Matter?

Size matters but not the way you think. A man can have the biggest dick and have no clue how to or what to do with it. A man with the smallest can make you cum tremendously and they always have a mean tongue game. The average size man can fall in between some can and some can’t.

Once upon a time I wanted the biggest dick in the world, until I got two. The first one I felt like a warrior ready to take all of it. Then sad to say when it was time to go at it, the man did not know how to find the right entrance. He kept pushing like he was in but came no where close. He finally got it together and tho I was in dick heaven from the pressure the story came to an end 5 minutes later. Of course every excuse came down, but I already made up my mind I would never waste my time going there. He was at least 9 inches.
When I came across number 2 feeling the package made me kind of nervous. After seeing it I began to put on my cloths. The man was literally at least 10-10 1/2 inches. He was way off the charts. Because I didn’t want the him to explode and have blue balls I tried. Not only did I try I failed horribly. I ran, screamed and even felt like shedding a tear. Once he realized it was not going to work he stopped. He looked so hurt knowing he will always have issues! I assured him there was a woman out there who could take horse dick. Of course I was not one of them.

This came up because a friend of mine had a fat 9 1/2 and she hates it. She is literally traumatized and don’t want to have sex at the moment. Now this is a women that likes it everyday. I then asked, what sizes do she like? She said average, but some of her best where between 5 and 6 inches. She prefers that size if anything. I nearly chocked on my water. I then learned that there are women who like small dicks.
After that conversation I come to realize, average is my kind of dick. Anything between 7 1/2 or 8 inches. 9 would be lucky. Average dicks are more fun. You can do more tricks, it can fit in your mouth without a nasty gag reflex and also makes riding the pony so much more enticing. I appreciate the crafty piece god made to drive woman insane. Tho sometimes it makes me sick, I will always appreciate an average dick.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Our Site is OFFICIALLY being built and I am HAPPY......

 To all my loyal followers that have been with me from the beginning and those wanting to know more. Our Site is OFFICIALLY being built and I am HAPPY for this new feel!! Our site will be not only a portal to some AMAZING TOYS, but you will be able to see them live on Xpose TV!

You will also be able to open up and share your deepest sexual questions/thoughts on Kiss&Tell! There is nothing wrong with wanting to experience something new or try something different. As long as it's legal and safe we will do our BEST to give you new and unique ideas. I strongly believe that sex and exploring your inner sexy can make you smile. So we at My Passion X are here to give you that Ultimate Experience in a chic, sexy and somewhat down and dirty way!

Do me a favor and Sign up to stay connected with everything and anything My Passion X has to offer. Not only will we have massive giveaways for new things to try, but we will keep you up to date with any and everything that can/will make you feel sexy. Time to focus and be happy about YOU! You only live once....Y.O.L.O is the motive!!